Jane Adelman, LCSW – Upper Montclair, New Jersey Locations
Jane Adelman, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker whose office serves the Upper Montclair NJ area for YourMarriageCounselor.com. If you are seeking a therapist from this area, call us today at 888-281-5850.
Social Workers License #44SCO1017700
I have been a marriage and relationship therapist for over 25 years.
It may seem like a given that most couples who come to see me want to save their relationship. If that is true we are on firm ground and have every chance of working together toward that goal.
If, however, as you read this you are thinking that you or your partner are not certain about saving the relationship at all costs, that is fine. Rest assured that I provide an opportunity to explore doubts without pressure. Painful as this may be, it is crucial to hear an honest account of these doubts to understand them fully and see if we can work toward dissolving them.
In other words, whatever the situation I respect the desires of both partners and work hard to see if they can eventually mesh.
Having said all this, I estimate that 80% of the couples I see remain together, having resolved issues so that they have a less conflicted and more satisfying life together.
The issues I help couples with are wide-ranging. I do, however, specialize in 1) helping partners cope with the aftermath of infidelity and 2) treating sexual problems that may seem to have a physical cause but may in fact have emotional or psychological roots.
I create a nonjudgemental and nonsexist environment that makes it as comfortable as possible to discuss these very personal areas of a couple’s life
Many couples survive infidelity. It is a crisis which, when thoroughly understood can actually lead to a stronger relationship by addressing those issues that may have led one partner to stray emotionally or physically in the first place. I am objective but supportive of both parties.
While it may take awhile to build trust in a therapist, I have found that most people find it easy to talk to me about sexual problems and are very relieved to finally have a chance to do so. While lack of desire in one or both partners is the most common complaint, there are many other issues, including inhibitions, erectile dysfunction, painful sex, or just difficulty talking about what each partner needs or desires, that can be successfully addressed.
Those are my specialties but I also help with lack of emotional intimacy, poor communication, anger and destructive arguments, disagreements about child-rearing, interference by relatives, to name a few. If I sense there is a lack of mutual respect, regardless of other issues, that is the first thing that will be addressed.
Coming to see me for an initial session does not lock you into a commitment to future sessions. It is important to gauge how comfortable or hopeful you feel about working with me. There will be no pressure and you should discuss it with each other afterward.
“My girlfriend and I have been seeing Ms. Adelman in couple counseling for a few months now. I personally have seen many therapists in my life, but never one as astute or driven to help as she is. Ms Adelman creates a safe place to open up and talk about anything at all. We both feel how much she cares because she really gets in there and works so hard to help us understand each other. Ms Adelman isn’t afraid of any display of emotions and can defuse the situation if it gets heated. One time my girlfriend stormed out of our session in a huff, but Ms Adelman went after her, calmed her down and got her to come back to the session. We made a lot of progress after that. So if you have an angry partner, don’t worry! We look forward to our sessions every week and have had many fruitful conversations after on the way home. If you are having trouble in your relationship go see Ms. Adelman….she really knows how to help.
~ L.C. and C.H.
“Jane Adelman, LCSW has helped me put my life back together after discovering that my wife was cheating on me. I’m a psychologist myself but that doesn’t mean I didn’t need help in a crisis like anybody else. My wife and I were seeing Jane for a month or so when I discovered the cheating. My wife quit coming to sessions but I continued. Jane helped me deal with my rage and hurt and depression. Then she was able to help me see what was ailing my marriage and how I might have contributed to my wife’s need to seek attention elsewhere. That was very hard but it helped me get to the point where I could begin to forgive. Recently I asked my wife to come back to sessions and we are working hard to understand what went wrong and rebuild our marriage which I thought for a long time would be impossible. Jane is very good at empathizing with both of us and doesn’t take sides. I am hopeful now and am so very grateful to Jane. I would recommend seeing her to anyone who is in a troubled relationship.”
~ Dr. C.J.
“We love Dr. Jane! (that’s what we like to call her)…our marriage was heading south and we were both about ready to throw in the towel, but decided to give marriage counseling a try again (we did it before and it wasn’t much help). As the husband I was afraid that if we saw a woman therapist she would automatically take my wife’s side. Boy was I wrong! Dr. Jane made me feel comfortable and supported right from the start (I would call her a “man-friendly” therapist. She points out equally what we both do that isn’t helpful to our relationship and have learned so much about communicating openly (and listening!). We feel comfortable talking now about really difficult topics, including our sex life which had become nonexistent. Dr. Jane is very matter-of-fact about what could be embarrassing stuff, so we feel like it’s not such a big deal. We are very grateful to her because we are doing so much better and divorce is off the table.”
~ A.W. and H.D
There is easy access to my office in Upper Montclair from Routes 3, 46, the Garden State Parkway, or Bloomfield Avenue in Montclair. To learn more about how I approach couple’s therapy please click on the linked article: Is it Time to Consider Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy?
I can be reached at 888-281-5850.