Your Marriage Counselor

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Helping Relationships And Marriages Heal From The Trauma Of Infidelity

(For Unfaithful Partner)

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction……………………………………………………………………………………………. 1

Four Myths And Truths That Are Important…………………………………. 3

In the Healing Process

Love Or Addiction…………………………………………………………………………………. 5

Stages Of Recovery From The Trauma Of Infidelity………………….. 7

Five Different Types Of Affairs……………………………………………………… 9

What If Only One Person Is Willing To Come For Counseling……. 12

The Apology for Your “Infidelity”…………………………………………………….. 14

Handling Your Partner’s Rejection……………………………………………………. 16

How To Analyze A Situation Correctly……………………………………………. 18

Positive Partner Awareness Inventory……………………………………………..23

Handling Your Partner’s Anger……………………………………………………………26

Helping Relationships And Marriages Heal From The Trauma Of Infidelity

TABLE OF CONTENTS

How To Handle Conflict Effectively………………………………………………… 28

Communicating More Effectively With You Partner……………………..29

How To Get Closer To Your Partner ……………………………………………… .32

Getting Back Together Again…………………………………………………………… 35

Friendship…………………………………………………………………………………………….. 33

Conclusion……………………………………………………………………………………………… 36

Dr. Marty Tashman’s Background……………………………………………………. 37

Helping Relationships And Marriages Heal From The Trauma Of Infidelity

(For the Unfaithful Partner)

Introduction

Helping Relationships And Marriages Heal From The Trauma Of Infidelity manual will give you practical and simple guidelines to help you in this traumatic situation.

There are 16 short easy to read articles which will help you:

• To understand what is going on.

• Give you specific things that you can do in order to have the best chance of getting your relationship back in harmony again.

Here is what the manual will cover:

• Tell you the truth about some popular myths of infidelity.

• Tell you why partners cheat.

• Describe in detail the stages of recovery.

• Describe the different types of affairs.

• Show you how to handle your partner’s anger.

• Explains the issues that have to be related to in order to

get back together again.

• Walk you through what is necessary in order to apologize

effectively.

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• The steps necessary to regain your partner’s trust.

• Understand the attitudes and behaviors that poison a

relationship.

• Teach you how to rebuild your friendship.

• Show you how to convince your partner you “Get It”.

• Explain how to rebuild your connection with your partner.

* This material is based on:

• Dr.John Gottman’s research for over 15 years with 5,000

couples.

• The latest scientific findings in neurobiology.

• My 30 plus years as a Marriage and Couples’ Counselor.

Marriages can survive infidelity – knowing what to do and being willing to do it is the key to recovering from infidelity successfully.

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Four Myths And Truths That Are Important InThe Healing Process

There are four popular myths about infidelity that are destructive to a relationship that is trying to be restored. I have listed them here so that you can distinguish the myths from the truths.

Myth #1

If someone has an affair their marriage is over – False.

Researchers have found that only 20 – 25% of divorces are caused by affairs, and 75 to 80% of couples stay together after the affair is over. The real reason that couples divorce is that they feel distant from one another and do not know how to reconnect, and they feel so alienated that they end their relationship.

Myth #2

Most affairs are sexually driven – False.

People have affairs for emotional reasons. They feel ignored by their partner, and not cared about, and even angry, and do not know what to do with these feelings.

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Myth #3

Once a cheat always a cheat. – False.

It may feel that way at first, but many unfaithful partners are ashamed of themselves. Often they are glad to be discovered. The affairs are a symptom of a troubled marriage and once the problems are related to the need to look outside of the marriage is eliminated.

Myths #4

I’ll never be able to trust my partner again. – False.

People trust in stages, so as time goes by, and they can see that the unfaithful partner is really working on being trustworthy by their actions, things can start to change if both are willing to put a concerted effort into it.

The process of healing takes time, and sometimes a long time.

When couples understand what went wrong and what to do about it, then they can work on recapturing the closeness they once had.

For things to get better folks have to go beyond the destructive myths and move toward building a new and positive relationship.

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Love Or Addiction

Are You in Love or Are You Addicted to Your Relationship?

To Stay or Not To Stay That Is The Question

Below are 12 warning signs that indicate you are not really in love with your partner but addicted to the relationship, and afraid to let go.

Please take a look at them and judge for yourself what is really going on in terms of your motivation to want continue the relationship. If you are suffering from addiction then you have to take a hard look as to whether or not you are holding on to the relationship for the wrong reasons.

1. Are you afraid to let go?

2. Do you spend more time thinking about what you use to have rather than enjoying the present and planning realistically based on your current realities?

3. Do you experience more pain from your relationship than satisfaction?

4. Are you constantly worrying that your partner will leave you?

5. Do you always have to be with or know where your partner is, to the point where they resent you?

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6. Do you not have anyone other than your partner that you can relate to or trust?

7. Are you afraid to show anger towards your partner or are

you always angry with him/her for not being there for you?

8. Do you have trouble being alone?

9. Do you always ignore your own needs and constantly focus only on how to please or take care of your partner?

10. Do you accept bad treatment from your partner yet still feel drawn to the relationship?

11. Do you justify maintaining your relationship by good things that happened in the past or early stages of your relationship?

12. Do you feel trapped in the relationship with no vision of your life without the other person?

If you have 6 or more of these symptoms, you are in a dangerous place. If you have 9 or more you are truly addicted to your relationship.

Take serious note of your answers, as to whether or not you are in the relationship because you really want to be, or because you are afraid to leave.

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Stages Of Recovery From The Trauma Of Infidelity

This section is designed to give you hope. Having the knowledge

that other’s have gone through this process and have struggled their way to the “The Healing” and “Integration” stages should give you the confidence that you too can make it.

Not everyone can move swiftly from one stage to another. There is a tremendous amount of emotional issues that happen during the Recovery Process and everyone needs to move along

at their own pace.

I Traumatic Stage

In this stage, there will probably be feeling of a sense of

rage, fear, sadness, inadequacy, guilt and deeply hurt that

your partner could do something like this to you. There will

be a sense of urgency to get things resolved as soon as

possible, so that things can return to the way it was before

when you felt connected to your partner.

II Understanding Stage

A place to start in recovery from the trauma is a logical

understanding of why things happened so you can feel that

you can have a sense of control again.

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III Repair Stage

This is the stage where partners get an emotional

understanding of what needs to be done on both sides of

the relationship and begin to feel hopeful.

IV Healing Stage

This is the stage where logical and emotional healing

come together.

V Integration Stage

At this stage, couples have developed a new

type of relationship, one with connection and caring. This

stage is not easy but is worth the effort to work towards.

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Five Different Types of Affairs

Experts have talked about Five different types of affairs. In order to determine the best strategy it can be helpful to understand which type of affair has occurred, so that the partner that has been cheated on can get valuable information as how to proceed. Take a look at the different types below and see if you can identify which category fits your situation.

• The Conflict Avoidance Affair – This is the couple that seems so very nice, yet one of them will “go around the block and across the street” in order not to have conflict. In this situation it is easier for the person to handle an unfaithful situation than confront their partner.

Advice: If you want to continue the relationship, communication must be worked on, and the couple has to learn how to communicate well with each other.

• The Intimacy Avoidance Affair – In this situation, one (or even both) of the partners builds a wall to protect him/herself from the outside world. It is easier to have an affair than be emotionally exposed to their partner.

Advice: If a relationship is to survive after this type of affair both individual and couples’ therapy should be considered.

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• The Sexual Addiction Affair – This is a situation where one partner is constantly having affairs and enjoys the chase. He/she denies any problem and may even be proud of the conquests.

Advice: If this relationship is to survive, it is important to determine the difference between sexual addiction and a loss of sexual intimacy.

• The Split-Self Affair – This affair is marked by what on the surface seems like a good relationship. However, feelings and needs are not expressed or met and communication is not genuine. The unfaithful partner is torn between the positive history and the need to really be him/herself.

Advice: If this relationship is to heal, it is important that there be in-depth individual and couples’ counseling, so that each person can be open about their feelings.

• The Exit Affair – In this case, the unfaithful person wants to end the marriage and on a conscious or unconscious level, uses this situation to accomplish just that.

Advice: It is best to recognize this for what it is and handle the realities of loss and rebuild a new life.

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None of these situations are easy to face but unless they are confronted your relationship will eventually come to an end. Rather than physically separate, some couples just go through the motions of living together but are no longer physically or emotionally connected, and feel lonelier than if they were by themselves. Fear is a tremendous influence factor in determining whether people stay together, and the unknown of not being a couple any longer is sometimes so strong that couples avoid talking about what is really going on.

Making our lives as balanced as we can is an essential ingredient to having happiness and good health.

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What If Only One Person Is Willing To Come For Counseling?

When your partner isn’t willing to come in for help for the relationship, it is even more important to come in for counseling. By waiting for them to be ready, you are putting the future of the relationship in their hands. If you really want the best chance to save your relationship, you need to learn what you can do.

Here is what you can learn even if your partner won’t come in for counseling:

1. How to better understand your partner even if they don’t speak to you.
2. How to effectively influence your partner when you do talk with them.
3. Learn how to communicate with your partner when they won’t listen to you.
4. Get support for a difficult situation.
5. How to help your children in a household that has conflict.
6. Learn how to handle difficult situations like: your partner’s anger, addiction or in-law problems.

If your relationship is in trouble, don’t wait for your partner to be ready.

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As you learn to handle your situation more effectively even though your partner won’t join in for counseling, there are two things that often happen;

First, many partners notice the change and they respond favorably. They also become more willing to communicate.

Second, the other person becomes less defensive because they see that counseling is actually making a positive difference, and very often they are willing to come in for counseling.

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The Apology For Your “Infidelity”

If you are to be taken seriously when you apology, your attitude must show genuine, deep regret. If you feel you are still not at that point, wait until you truly are because you might not get a second chance.

Taking Responsibility For Your Actions

Admit whole heartedly that you were wrong in what you did and how you regret hurting her/him but only if you earnestly feel that way. Realize that this is just the first step. There is still a very long ways to go to make things right again.

When you apologize and your partner wants to speak, be quiet, let them talk because they will have a lot to say about their feelings. Part of the process is that your partner has to feel that you are open and willing to listen to them.

Explain The “Why’s”

It is crucial for your partner to hear an explanation as to why you did this. One of the greatest fears that your partner will have is “If I forgive her/him will they hurt me again”? If you can’t give a proper explanation about why the infidelity happened, it will make your partner feel powerless in trying to prevent any further

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occurrences. So make sure you are prepared and thought out an earnest answer clearly. This is essential in order to go on to repair the relationship further. Realize that if there is to be forgiveness your partner must have peace of mind, and believe in you again.

Partners May Ask For Details

If your partner wants the details, you should openly respond to them. This might be difficult for you but imagine what they are going through. The more you hold back the more they will feel that something else is going on.

Lastly, you have to get your partner to believe that this experience is so painful that if you had to do it all over again you wouldn’t make the same choices. Of course, only if you really mean it, otherwise it is worthless and cruel.

In summary, you have to be genuine, patient, a good listener, be forthcoming with details, and explain your reasons clearly. Reconciliation in this kind of situation is not easy and you have to be prepared for your partner’s anger and confusion, but by opening lines of communication you have made the first important step toward working things out.

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Handling Your Partner’s Rejection

It is important to look at the issue of rejection, because both people involved in the existing relationship are experiencing a strong sense of being rejected by their partner. Both in the beginning and during the process there will be times when things will be touch and go. Your partner will sometimes say nasty, hurtful things or tell you they do not want to be with you anymore. We are all human and get discouraged when our efforts are rejected. Learning to handle rejection is one of the hardest things to accomplish while trying to rescue your relationship.

It is important to realize that each of us may be ready to forgive at different times and the forgiveness often occurs in stages. Your partner may be considering lowering their barriers but are still cautious and do not want to become too vulnerable. You may want to give up just when your partner is looking for confirmation of your new commitment and change.

On the other hand, you don’t want your partner to feel pressured or worse yet, stalked. To avoid this don’t try and convince them that you are different but let them see that your interactions and behaviors have changed. Showing your partner that you are different by how you approach and communicate with them will be far more effective then telling them you are different.

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It is also important to realize that if you don’t get the response you are hoping for, your partner may be “testing” (consciously or unconsciously) you to see if you are really committed to making a change. Here a sensitive balance is necessary. On the one hand, going into a situation expecting the best is a good start; but on the other hand, being able to accept the worst is also important. If you don’t get the response that you hoped for it is extremely important to accept the rejection. Remember, different people have different time tables for forgiveness.

The partner who wants to make amends isalways more focused on the need to restore the relationship rather than negative feelings of anger, hurt and frustration. The partner who has been betrayed, probably feels like they have been putting up with these issues for weeks, months, or even years and has reached a breaking point. This person needs time to regain an emotional balance and it usually takes them longer to accept the repair attempts.

Even though showing your partner how you are changing is better than tellingthem, you will at some time discuss your relationship. If your partner tells you they are not yet ready to work on the relationship, it is best if you accept it with as much graciousness as possible. Honestly accepting rejection, not faking it, is a very powerful approach.

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How To Analyze A Situation Correctly

(Understanding problems in relationships can sometimes help correct them)

First answer questions 1 through 5, then think about how you are

going to improve in these areas.

1. My partner thinks we spend enough time together.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

2. My Partner really likes it when I get them little things.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

3. My partner likes when I tell them on a regular basis how much I care.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

4. My partner thinks I am interested in what’s important to them.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

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5. My partner thinks I am sensitive to their feelings

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

6. My partner believes I am supportive of them in the stressors they are facing.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False)

7. My partner knows me pretty well.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

8. I do what my partner asks of me on a regular basis.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

9. My partner thinks I am affectionate on a regular basis.

1…………..……….2……………………….3……………………………4…………………….5

(False) (True)

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Notice which of the above are important to your partner and that you are not doing and how you think you can correct it.

Example – take #1 for a general guideline. If you scored a 1 or 2 on the first question then you need to figure out a way to spend more time alone with your partner.

Below are some solutions relating to the above questions, to help demonstrate to your partner what you are willing to do to bring

you both closer together.

(1) Figuring out a way to spend more time alone with your

partner.

(2) Buying a small gift for your partner, whether it is that book

they were looking for or that gourmet food that they were

not able to find in the supermarket.

(3) Telling them what you appreciate about them, and the

positive things it makes you feel.

(4) Taking more of an interest in things that are important to

them.

(5) Taking more of an interest about their feelings, and so when

a situation comes up that they want to talk about be there

for them, and be a good listener.

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(6) Find ways to help your partner with issues they are facing.

Sometimes all they want is to be listened to and

understood.

(7) Talk to them about your feelings on a regular basis.

(8) Finish projects or take care of responsibilities that your

partner would like you to do.

(9) Touch them in a caring non sexual way on a regular basis.

List your partners’ three main complaints and explain why you think they feel that way. The purpose of this exercise is to help you to better understand your partner so you can be more sensitive to their needs.

1. Complaint

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Reason your partner is complaining: _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Complaint

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Reason your partner is complaining: _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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3. Complaint

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Reason your partner is complaining: _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It is important for you to do whatever is takes for your partner to feel closer to you. Try and figure out how you will respond to their complaints in a positive way, and not that you can’t fix the situation.

Remember, unless your partner sees and experiences changes they will believe the same thing will happen again. To convince your partner that you will be different you have to believe it, and 0demonstrate how you are different.

You have a lot of hard work ahead but the outcome is certainlyworth it.

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Positive Partner Awareness Inventory

The purpose of these questions are to help you focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and discover how “tuned in” you are to your partner.

1. My partner is happiest when __________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. My partner’s favorite song is

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. My partner is most influenced by __________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. My partner likes it most when I __________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

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5. A positive memory that my partner has of us together is

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. A special thing that I did for my partner was __________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. I tell my partner that I am proud of him/her: daily, weekly, monthly, I can’t remember.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. I tell my partner that I care for him/her: daily, weekly, monthly. I can’t remember.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

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9. I touch my partner in an affectionate way (non-sexual): daily, weekly, monthly. I can’t remember.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. I give my partner a positive sexual experience (according to what they like): often, occasionally, rarely, never.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Handling Your Partner’s Anger

1. Stay calm - Don’t get into a screaming match. If your partner gets’ “overheated” explain to them that you will be willing to talk with them but right now tempers are too high for things to get settled. Promise to discuss the issue at a later time when you are both in a calmer state. Pick a specific time to “check in” with each other and say something like “How about talking tonight when we are both in a calmer space” or “When you feel you are ready to talk about it”. I call this withdrawing with reassurance.

Be sure to follow-up on your promise. If the other person is still upset when you check with them, set up another time to check in. If this keeps happening then it is clear that you need a third party to help you get back on track to be able to communicate properly again.

2. Don’t argue with your partner about their feelings.

3. Listen to what the other person has to say.

4. Find what you can legitimately agree with.

5. Don’t try and justify your action.

6. Listen to what your partner has to say. People feel better if they get things off of their chest and feel that someone is listening and acknowledging their feelings.

7. Really listen to what is making your partner angry and try to indentify anger themes.

8. Don’t patronize your partner.

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9. If the anger is repeated, try and be patient and stay calm.

If this behavior constantly repeats itself then it’s time for a counselor to step in. Though family and friends are very important to turn to but using them as a referee can have disastrous results. Knowing how to handle intense anger in these types of circumstances usually takes an experienced professional.

The way in which a couple handles anger and conflict significantly impacts on their relationship. Often, they do not know how to successfully disagree or even argue, and the end result is disastrous.

I hope that the above information has increased your understanding of anger, and has given you some tools to start examining your own and your partner’s anger themes.

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How To Handle Conflict Effectively

Below you will see a “Homework Self Rating Scale” that I give couples I work with to help them handle conflict. The Scale gives guidelines as to how they can effectively handle difficult situations.

You might want to print out these Scales and “rate yourself” to see how effectively you have handled a potential argument.

Homework Self Rating Scale

Please make 2 or 3 copies (one for each issue or incident).

Circle the number that applies to the issue or incident.

Name of issue or incident _______________________________

1. I was not able to calm myself. 1 2 3 – 1 2 3 I was able to calm myself.

2. Attacked my Partner. 1 2 3 – 1 2 3 I withdrew without judging.

3. I condemned my partner. 1 2 3 – 1 2 3 I understand my partner’s point of

view (even though I don’t agree).

4. I made a big deal of it.1 2 3 – 1 2 3 I did not make a big deal of it (in my

head).

5. I got lost in my upset feelings. 1 2 3 – 1 2 3 I took care of myself.

6. I swept it under the rug. 1 2 3 – 1 2 3 I tried one more time when we were

both calmer.

Comments: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

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Communicating More Effectively With Your Partner

(11 Rules to Help Improve Communication)

1. Listen to the emotions behind your partner’s words. Being right

isn’t as important as being understood and connecting with

them.

2.  Focus on what your partner is saying rather than thinking up

an answer or rebuttal.

3.  Look at the person who is talking to you. Many people don’t

feel listened to unless they are being looked at.

4. Use the word “I” rather than the word “you.” People tend to

hear “you” in a sentence as an accusation, such as “You are

yelling at me.” Compare that with “I feel yelled at,” and the

speaker takes ownership for the feeling and does not come

across as attacking.

5.  When you need to discuss a difficult issue, be sensitive to

choosing an appropriate time for the conversation.

6.  State things simply and ask your partner if more detail is

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7.  Be aware that the real meaning of every communication is how

it is heard and perceived, not how it is intended.

8. Notice your partner’s reactions, if they have

withdrawal/attack/glassy-eyed response and realize that they

are on overload, and not able to hear you. This is a good time

to stop the conversation and pick it up at a later date.

9. When you stop a difficult conversation do it as gently as

possible.

10. Ask questions so you can learn and understand more about

what your partner is saying. Be curious about what is

important to your partner.

11. Be attentive to your partner’s response. Notice if you are

giving too much detail. For example, if you are a detailed

person but your partner is not responding, then you can either

ask for feedback and involvement or limit the conversation.

People can be turned off if they feel they are being lectured

to.

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• Don’t try and adopt all of these rules at once.

• Don’t tell your partner: “this is a list you should follow.” Ask your partner if he/she is interested in “rules for communication” or print the list and leave it lying around, but don’t make the list an issue in itself.

There are many rules to having effective communication. The 11 rules above provide a good starting point for couples. You may even want to “evaluate yourself” to see how many of the suggestions you can follow. Having a healthy relationship means “playing by the rules.”

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How To Get Closer To Your Partner

When your partner comes to you with a problem while they are still healing from the trauma of infidelity, hear is what you should do.

(1) Listen to what they have to say.

(2) Ask questions about the details of their concerns.

(3) Summarize to your partner using your own words,

that you understand their problem.

It is very important to respond to the day to day problems effectively, so that those issues do not explode because of the underlying resentment that is still present from the infidelity issue. Though there may be legitimate reasons for your side of your partner’s complaint, it is important to do the above three steps first. After your partner feels you understand them, you may want to give your partner your side of the story. First make your partner feel understood before you ask them to understand you.

Listen, understand, and accept before you explain.

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Friendship

We know that if partners can get back to being good friends after infidelity, it will increase their chances of having a stronger marriage.

Below is a questionnaire that can help you determine the quality of friendship between you and your partner.

1) What do you think are the qualities of a good friend? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2) How good a friend are you with your partner now?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. How good a friend were you with your partner at the

beginning of your relationship?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­_____________________________________________

4) When did the friendship start to go wrong (other than the

infidelity)?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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5. What do you think caused the deterioration of your

friendship (other than the infidelity)?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. What role did you play in the deterioration of your

friendship?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7) Given 20/20 hindsight, what else could you have done?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

8) What could you do now to improve your friendship?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Getting Back Together Again

Getting Back with Your Partner – dating is not the answer.

People have the misperception that if they have a date with their partner or if they go away on a vacation with them, things will get better and they will recapture the closeness that they had lost. Going out or going away with each other will only be productive if you know how to communicate properly. The main ingredients here are interest and genuine curiosity about what your partner has to say. Do you ask questions, stay on the subject, and add to the discussion?

Here is the good news; you don’t have to go to Hawaii to have a good conversation. Even busy schedules allow for partners to talk meaningfully to each other. A cup of tea or coffee doesn’t take that long, but the positive effect can last awhile. Being interested in how their day went, or discussing a particular issue that has been upsetting to them will bring the two of you closer together. The important thing here is the consistency of caring and genuine exchanges.

Couples that feel closer to each other are those folks who talk to each other in a curious and interested way on a regular basis.

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CONCLUSION

Healing From The Trauma Of Infidelity

This manual’s goal is to help you and your partner heal from the trauma of infidelity. When we go beyond the blame and the judgment, it is clear that your relationship has suffered a severe blow to its foundation. Both you and your partner have been traumatized.

Now, is the time to work on rebuilding and creating a new and stronger relationship. Even when things are better, they will never be the same nor should they be. To get through this a couple must make important changes and never take their relationship for granted. You need to learn to re-appreciate each other, learn how: to disagree, and how to repair bad feelings, and most of all, how to build a loving life together.

With my best wishes and greatest hopes for your relationship’s

future.

Dr. Marty

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Dr. Marty Tashman’s Background

For over thirty years he has been a therapist in private practice. He has a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

On a personal note, he has a life partner who he lives with, and has been in a successfully committed relationship for over the past 18 years. He genuinely believes that quality of life and the emotional and physical health are all profoundly influenced by the quality of the relationship you have with your partner.

He has also written the “Relationship RescueManual “ and is currently working on “When Infidelity Has Happened To You And What to DoAbout It “ which is a manual for the faithfulpartner who has suffered from the trauma of infidelity.

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