Your Marriage Counselor

If you:

• are at the brink of ending your relationship.
• can’t seem to have a discussion with your partner without it ending up in anger.
• love your partner but really don’t like them.

If you can relate to the any of the three statements above, and
want the best chance or maybe your last chance at turning things
around consider “The Intensive Jumpstart Session”.

“The Intensive Jumpstart Session” is a two hour meeting which
can be used to:

• go far more deeply into the issues than you would during an initial single meeting.
• learn techniques to handle the anger, hurt and hostility that has developed from your incompatibility.
• improve your communication with your partner.
• understand and redirect the anger & resentment that has developed over a long period of time.

The “The Intensive Jumpstart Session” can make an important difference in getting counseling off to a positive start when time and patience are running out on both sides. We can work on issues that are causing the biggest problems, and tackle them first, and still have time to move along quickly to issues surrounding them.

I have found over the years that these intensive counseling sessions with couples have proven to create a deeper connection over a shorter period of time.

Listen to a Pre-Marital Counseling Interview with Dr. Marty

It is normal to have the jitters before making such a big step in life but there is a difference between the jitters and constant arguing and friction.

What I often find when couples come to see me for premarital counseling is that they tell me they love each other and want to be together but they find themselves getting into fights more, and more frequently. They keep hoping it will get better but it just doesn’t.

Together we can:

Figure out how to bring back harmony and work on the miscommunication problems you are having.

Learn how to handle the anger that has developed as a result of poor communication.

Often times couples say to me: “I’ve tried everything”, “I’ve tried being nice and patient”., “I’ve tried being angry.”, and nothing seems to work.

Working with thousands of couples over the years, we have developed ways to approach couples that will get them to respond in a positive way to each other.

Here are questions to ask yourself:

Do you know what to do with your frustration and anger in an effective way so that it will not harm your relationship further?

Do you know how to engage in effective repair once a discussion has turned into an argument?

Do you know how to negotiate with your partner so that they can see your point of view as well?

Do you know what to do and how to act if your partner’s feelings are hurt and how to turn a conversation into a positive direction?

Can you demonstrate to your partner how upset you are without provoking them and making them want to attack you or just shut down?

These are skills that are important to learn if you are to get past the crisis that is threatening your relationship and that makes you apprehensive about going ahead with your marriage plans.

Marriage is a big step and can be a beautiful union in life, and so remember, with a good beginning dreams can come true.

If we can be of help please call us at  (1) 888-281-5850
and we can talk about what the next step would be.

Talk to you soon,
Dr. Marty

Almost everyone is going through more difficult financial times then they can ever remember, and when our relationship is in trouble as well , it places additional stress on us. To handle this important issue, I have developed four ways that we can work together to try and minimize the cost and for it to be more affordable for your budget.

Firstly, I have asked several therapists to join me. Fees range from $50 (25  minute  session) to $170 (50 minute session), depending on which therapist you see.

Secondly, you can see your therapist every other week and this can also help reduce your expenses.

Thirdly, whenever possible, we try and focus on short term work. My average number of sessions for couples range from 7 to 9 meetings. In certain situations it could take fewer or more sessions. The more you work on the process the greater our progress.

Fourthly, as therapy progresses our meetings are further apart, which both tests how well things are going and spaces out the payment.

We also accept credit and debit cards.

Remember that when all is said and done, it’s not the expense of counseling– it’s what it costs if you lose the person you love, and that becomes expensive both emotionally and financially.

Please give me a call 1(888) 281-5850 or send me an email and fill out the box on the right side of this page, and I will respond to you as soon as I can. I apologize if weekends take a little longer.

Take Care,
Looking forward to talking with you,
Dr. Marty
1(888) 281-5850

Why do the words marriage counseling and couples’ therapy strike terror into the hearts of so many husbands and wives?

As for the subjects of psychotherapy and marriage counseling, television has recently offered inside views of the process. Witness Dr. Melfi in her valiant attempts to engage Tony in the HBO hit “The Sopranos.” Even more recently HBO has offered us “Tell Me You Love Me,” an intimate look at the marriage counseling sessions of several couples. In fact, these expose’s make it easier for people to seek help, reducing the stigma and erasing some of the mystery.

However, all too often couples view seeking help for their troubled marriages as a last resort or worse, an admission of failure. The former is unfortunate while the latter is simply inaccurate.

Read more

Dr. Marty has been in practice for over 34 years. During that time, as an expert in couples counseling, he has been asked about a wide variety of subjects pertaining to relationships. Below are some of the appearances he has made in the past year.

TV Interviews:

Anger (Daily Connections Show on EBRU)
Marital Issues (Daily Connections Show on EBRU)
Dealing with a Workaholic (Daily Connections Show on EBRU)
How to Love Yourself (Wbru TV)

Radio Interviews:

WJJZ – Couples Counseling
WCTC -Judith Loveline program (on-going guest)
WNJ101.5 – Periodic issues on relationships (comentator)

Newspapers & Press:

Washington Post Article on finances and couples
PR Web Article 
JournalNow.com Article on money & relationships

Dr. Marty’s Web Sites:

www.YourMarriageCounselor.com
www.DrMartyTashman.com
www.BeatingAddictions.com

Below are some of the things that Dr. Marty will be helping you to Learn during counseling:

I. How To Influence Your Partner.
II. What Causes Most Fights.
III. How To Talk To Your Partner. 
IV. Standing Up For Your Self Effectively.
V. What to Do When You are Unhappy with How Your Partner is Treating You or is Doing Something That Isn’t O.K. With You.
VI. 6 Steps to Getting Together After A Fight. 
VII. Improving Your Friendship and Creating Your Future.

I am constantly writing articles and would very much like to know what you would like to learn more about. As you have ideas or things that you are curious about I would appreciate it if you would either contact me, using the contact request form or call me @ 732-246-8484

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Dr. Marty
34 years of bringing people together

Why do so many marriages fail? It’s even worse than we think

Some estimates indicate that 50% of people who get married end up in divorce court. The statistics for second marriages are even worse. As if those figures aren’t bad enough, add them to the fact that having a truly satisfying marriage seems to be increasingly “out of the ordinary.” Of the approximately 50% of marriages that do not end in divorce, we could speculate that a large percentage of them may not end in formal divorce, but in what can be called “emotional divorce.” In other words, people stay married not because they like being married, but for a variety of other reasons. Oftentimes people stay married because they don’t want to leave their children, feel financially trapped, or are afraid to be on their own. Read more

Below are 4 steps to getting the best response possible out of your partner.  These are not designed to deal with serious marital issues or deep seeded problems.  This article is to help you over the small “bumps in the road” that happen in all relationships.

 1. Realize that your partner’s  definition of love and caring may be different from yours. In the end he has the ability to be there for you but he needs help, here’s how to help him:

2. Start the process by focusing on his/ her positive side, and can be, attitude is very important. When you do the other steps it is important that is from a positive attitude.

3. Gently remind them. “Honey I really like it when, you get me a card “It’s O.K. to remind him. You may think: “If he loves me he would do it on his own.” For the most part men’s brains don’t work that way. If there is an emergency or crisis men are far more likely to respond. This comes from how men’s brains are organized and years of history of the care and feeding of the American male.

4. Let them know what you would like. “I really would like it you would bring me some flowers.” Make it clear and easy for him to do. The easier things are to do the more he is likely to it.

Gals if you have to remind him it does mean he doesn’t love you; he’s just being a guy. Remember that if he really doesn’t want to do something he won’t. How long has it taken for him to clean out the garage or get rid of that 10 year old suit.

If you have a serious problem and you’re not getting through to your partner, then you need some help from a professional. Please feel free to give me a call (732) 246-8484 and we can talk for a while and figure out what to do next.